I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
