NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
