have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
