I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
