Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
false alarm. still invincible.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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