On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
