fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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