Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
