I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize