I bet he comes in French.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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