shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
