I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
