I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
