I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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