Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my poor anus
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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