Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
