Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
