Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
