just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
