So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
