Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
