Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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