i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
