my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
