is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
