I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
