If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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