Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
