We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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