Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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