He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize