I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
