guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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