Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
