3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
