Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
