i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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