i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
