Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
