I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
