and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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