My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
