Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
