shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize