I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
