omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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