she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
