i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
