You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
