There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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