my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
