that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
