Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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