i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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