im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
